Stoney's Blog

I have come to the conclusion that I am screwed in my life. No matter how hard I try I fail. Yet contrast that in no matter how hard I try to follow G-d I fail. I can’t do this. I’m tried of the failure. I’m tired of falling on my face. I sit here and read all these spiritual books and increase my knowledge of what I need to do yet I can’t seem to comprehend wehat I need to do unti I realized something else from reading ‘The Screwtape Letters’ by C. S. Lewis (http://www.amazon.com/Screwtape-Letters-C-S-Lewis/dp/0060652934). I realized that5 today is here and that today will affect tomorrow meaning if I fail today it will affect tomorrow but the contrast of that is true as well, if I succeed today then I will suceed tomorrow. Life is not just a balance of your failures and accoplishments, but is instead a compilation of your heart and what you do with the gift’s G-d has given to you. G-d has given us *all* I say again *ALL* of our gitfs, talents. We parot this line that we have been taught but do we stop and truly comprehend what it means. It comes to a realization of humbleness, that in being humble is a trap in and of itself that when we focus on being humble we stop being so, but instead we should focus on what we will be, not on neccessarily being humble but having humble attitudes. If you accomplish something take no more pride in it than if someone else were to have done the same thing. I think maybe this key, this focus is what I have been missing. That all too often I focuse on what I should not do and I need to focus on what I am going to do. To focus not on stop lust but instead to focus on G-d. That is the key. To instead of focusing on loneliness which only seems to magnify it, but to focus on G-d’s love for us. Focus on his mercy instead of hatred for my dad. Focus on what I am going to do for today instead of laying in bed wishing for the will to get up. Focus on what G-d will accomplish through me today. Reread that last sentence. Reread it again word for word. Not on what I will accomplish today for G-d but what He will accomplish through me. I have a motto I live by. Live, Breath, and Die according to the Word, the Blood, and the Blade. and upon reading a note from a friend of mine I decided to leave that off for another time or a personal discussion with some of you. Instead I would like to add to what I was saying earlier. Focus on what you should be doing and everything will follow. So I am a huge person who get’s on other’s cases when they say we should do things and dont show how. How does one focus on what we are supposed to be doing. Well some of the obvious and useful answers are some of the most common ones. pray, read your Bible, meditate on the word, worship with other christians, there are numerous other ‘obvious’ ways of keeping your focus on Christ. Others include reading books. Howevr tqaking the time to help the old lady cross the street is a rather cliche way of it but the heart with which one helps that old lady is the key to it.